You'll Have Regrets
by PsychoSchemer
Summary: Izaya knew he would never be above Shizuo, he was never able to predict his each and every move, but he'd never admit that to him. Being equal would have to work instead.. Shizaya/Semi-established relationship.. lame summary! M for some language.
1. Chapter 1

**[A/N:]** **So this is probably the oldest and first Shizaya fic that I've ever finished ^^; I started it back in late summer this year and forgot about it until just this last month. So yeah... Characters might be slightly OOC, ((I'm not sure, if so, Sorry)) but either way enjoy I guess. Characters & Setting are not mine, just the plot. :)**

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><p>You'll Have Regrets<p>

Izaya knew his ways of loving were twisted. Loving humans only as experiments for his constant tests. The predictable beings did nothing other than take the boredom out of the young man's soul and any person that couldn't cure such boredom was a disgrace. _Shizuo_ _Heiwajima_ came to his mind when he thought of unpredictability. Though it had been a quality to admire, Izaya loathed the fact that he could never feel above the brute of Ikebukuro, but being considered his partner, his _equal_, was close enough to his satisfaction.  
>The two shared their hatred since the day they entered Raira Academy, for a reason that no one ever figured out. Izaya had always laughed to himself, sarcastically wishing to have made a better first impression on the blonde male. Ever since the raven-haired informant returned to his rival's beloved city, the two constantly played a game of <em>Cat and Mouse<em>. Vending machines raining down here and there, street signs being skewered into random buildings, all aiming at the same elusive target. Some of the chases would often times drain Izaya and tire him out, not that he would ever admit to that though. His conceited pride would never live him down if he surrendered to Shizuo. He would go to whatever circumstance necessary to keep his opponent from feeling victorious.

That certain circumstance didn't happen to occur until that one eventful day.

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><p>A walk through the mysterious city had been an everyday routine for the devious informant. Always looking for the one person that could ruin his day yet brighten it at the same time. "<em>Iizaayaaa!<em>" he heard from a distance. He was surprised that he had been the one to be found first, but he spun around to face his familiar challenger before darting off. A smirk danced across his face as his crimson eyes narrowed suspiciously, "Couldn't you greet me in a _less_ barbaric way? Shouting is no way to make friends." Izaya laughed.

"Fuck off flea!" Shizuo growled.

"Now, now, there could be children around Shizu-chan, they don't need to hear your disgusting mouth." Izaya knew he had already struck a nerve in the ex-bartender by using that forbidden nickname.

"Shut the hell up!" Shizuo had started to march forwards.

"You're not to creative with words are you?" Izaya felt startled that his enemy didn't grab a random object before proceeding to chase him like usually. He stuck a hand in his fur-trimmed coat, ready to pull out his trade-mark knife for defense.

"You gonna run you parasite?" The bodyguard smirked as he still stalked forwards with Izaya cautiously taking a few steps back.

"I was thinking about sticking around but if you insist.. Catch me if you can Shizzy." with that, the lithe body sped off in the opposite direction hearing the well-known threat to stay out of Ikebukuro. After running for a great-distance, and dodging every heavy item that could easily kill with a good strike, Izaya finally stopped in an alley, expecting his predator to become even more furious with loss and give up for the day. He instantly regretted stopping when he inhaled a fresh scent of smoke through his nose.

"Lookin' for someone?" he could almost hear a triumph laugh in Shizuo's tone.  
>Upon turning around, Izaya instantly felt a large hand wrap around his throat and force him against the rough, brick wall. "Caught ya." mocha-colored eyes burned into crimson ones as Izaya gasped out and instantly went for his knife. Unfortunately for him, his hand was stopped by another hand clasping his wrist.<p>

"Congrats Shizu-chan," Izaya choked out, "D-didn't think you'd ever be able to do it." A wicked grin appeared on the brute's face when he noticed the stutter from Izaya's speech. He wanted to be unpredictable? Fine, Izaya decided, two would play this game. Seeing it as no other way out, the informant quickly maneuvered his free hand behind Shizuo's head and pulled it down so their faces were centimeters apart until the smaller male closed the gap by pushing his lips against the other's.

What he expected to happen was to catch Shizuo off guard and slip away, but if anything, it was himself that had become off guard. The blonde responded by pushing back with equivalent force. Izaya had thought it was odd how well their lips seemed to fit together, but he almost found it to be addicting. It wasn't long before the two broke away for oxygen, both looking dazed at one another. Izaya could taste the slight nicotine on his lips, and remembered that the neanderthal-like man smoked. When the raven's senses had come back, he immediately broke from the iron grip and tried to run but was quickly stopped when Shizuo grabbed his hood and spun him around to brush their lips together once more. "You should probably get going." The ex-bartender warned after breaking apart once more.

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><p>And so their unusual relationship had begun, it had been far from a normal one. With little tenderness and a lot of arguing. But shockingly enough, Izaya still could never figure the blonde out. He never imagined to see that the barbaric male actually had a soft side every so often. It was a side of Shizuo that had been extremely rare to see.<p>

A side that Izaya had fallen for.. But again, there's no way he would admit to it. There's no way Izaya could be in love and besides, Shizuo would either think he was lying or laugh in his face for actually loving one person instead of '_the whole human race_'.

"You're bleeding." a voice called out, wrecking Izaya's train of thought.

"Oh, hey Shizu-chan." Izaya looked over at the frowning blonde before he resumed his work.

"Didn't you hear me?" a concerned tone pleaded for Izaya's attention to answer the question.

"Huh?"

"You're fucking _bleeding_! Geez can't you even tell when you're injured? Sometimes I think you'd die without me around." Shizuo got up from his spot on the sofa and walked over with a band-aid for Izaya's cut finger, the other not even remembering when or how his finger had started bleeding.

"Actually I think I have a better chance dying _with_ you around." the raven-haired man laughed, observing Shizuo's procedure of putting the bandage on.  
>A pair of lips warmed the middle of the informant's hand while a blush warmed his face. Each chance that those coffee-colored orbs gazed softly into Izaya's own eyes, he felt as if his heart would melt on the spot. He closed his eyes to prevent said heart from oozing out. "Izaya," Shizuo's tone had been gentler than before, "look at me."<p>

A blood-colored eye peeked open to see the blonde male now at eye-level with himself.  
>"Shizuo.." a whisper barely escaped his lips.<br>An eyebrow was raised upon hearing his first name, but Shizuo still continued to focus on the other, it was as if he was examining every move.  
>"Do you.. you know. Have any.. regrets?" In all seriousness, Izaya smiled slightly anyway.<p>

"_Regrets_? Not many..." the ex-bartender looked away from him.  
>Izaya brought his attention back by pulling him in another embrace.<p>

"One more question." He knew that Shizuo was becoming impatient very quickly.

"Spit it out already."

"Do you.. well, I don't know how to put this," Izaya laughed a little.

"What the hell is with you and weird questions?" the brute grumbled.

"Do you love me?"

"There you go again with weird questions," Shizuo stood up and began to pace around the room, "Why do you even think of these things?.."

"The strongest man in Ikebukuro can't handle a few '_yes_ or _no_' questions?"

Shizuo glared and sighed, as if accepting the challenge, "No. I don't love you..."

Common sense told the raven-haired informant to be expecting that answer, yet he still felt so crushed, like the whole sentence had just punched him in the stomach.

"But," Shizuo continued, while looking up at the ceiling, "I regret that I don't love you.. I don't want this to end or anything... I just," he paused, "_Goddammit_, you know I'm not good at these sort of things!" he yelled at the ceiling, but Izaya knew the curse was directed towards him. Shizuo sighed, "No matter if I love you or not, I just want to stay with you. It might take awhile, but I think I could grow to love you one day... Happy? Now enough with these questions." He ran a hand through his tousled blonde hair before sitting back down.

Izaya just sat beside him with a wide smile before laughing to break the silence, "The day you love me will be the day you catch me again huh Shizu-chan?" he watched as Shizuo pulled out and lit another cigarette.

"Yeah whatever." he grumbled and became confused when Izaya stood and walked towards the door-frame, "Well then, I'd better start running." he smirked.

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><p><strong>[AN:] ...so? Good? Bad? Leave it as is? Add another chapter? I won't know unless you review I guess.. ^^;**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Ok, so I wasn't sure if I should make a second chapter to this, but obviously I did anyway, ^^ and I plan on having at least 3 chapters of this story.**

**If characters are a little OOC then please forgive me T_T I haven't got much sleep lately..**

**Right, Warnings: slight OOC (I think), slightly drunk!Izaya, Yaoi,**

**You've been warned.**

**Disclaimer: I clearly own nothing but the plot of the story. ^^**

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><p><span>Chapter Two: And I'll Have Regrets As Well<span>

It had been almost a week since Shizuo last saw Izaya. While walking through the streets of Ikebukuro with his employer, he couldn't get the informants questions out of his head.

"_Do you.. you know. Have any.. regrets_?"

"_Do you love me_?"

'_Why the hell would he ask that?_' Shizuo thought, placing a cigarette between his lips and pulling a lighter out of his pocket. '_That flea's up to something. He just wants to mess with me_.'

"Everything ok today Shizuo?" Tom asked when he looked over his shoulder, "You've been acting a little odd all week."

"Yeah, I'm fine.. I think." He responded, inhaling before blowing the smoke in the air.

"Do you need to quit early for today? We've gotten a lot done already, I'm sure we can finish tomorrow." His friend showed geniuine concern for the blonde.

Shizuo felt a vibrate coming from his phone, "Um, yeah. I'm sure I'll get this all sorted out by tomorrow. Sorry Tom." With that Shizuo pulled out his phone and turned away from the other.

"Yeah?" He answered his cell phone.

"Shizu-chan~" sang a familiar voice, "Where are you? I figured you'd be home by now, do you know what time it is?"

Shizuo let out a long sigh, looking at his watch he realized that it had been a lot later than he thought, 8:00pm, "What are you doing at my house Izaya?" he asked.

There was a moment of silence before he got his answer, "..I wanted to see you Shizu-chan," Shizuo was quick to notice the change of tone in Izaya's voice, "Is that ok?" Something was definitely wrong, Izaya _never _asked if it was ok to visit when he did.

"Sure, I'll be there soon." Shizuo closed his phone and started walking home.

Izaya had decided on patiently waiting next to the front door of Shizuo's apartment, all the while thinking of the person who lived in it. He hadn't expected much from Shizuo when it came to reading signs and body language, but surely the protozoan knows how Izaya feels about him right? Confessing love and feelings to an individual isn't necessarily one of Izaya's strong points. Sure he had claimed to love the human race, but it wasn't the love he felt towards Shizuo. "_You piss me off_." Those were the blonde's first words to him back in highschool. Why? What had he done to Shizuo? He had felt nothing but admiration towards him when they first met, which later turned into attraction, but Shizuo still kept hating him, so Izaya just played along in the hate game, as long as he could be on the brute's mind, he was satisfied.

It wasn't until a month or so ago that Izaya realized that there was more than just hatred coming from Shizuo. '_He caught me. He _could've _killed me, but he _kissed _me instead_.' Then their mutual bonding had started. _'But he still doesn't love me_.." Izaya thought.

He had been so focused on his thoughts that he wasn't even aware of Shizuo's presence until said person cleared his throat. "Ah, there you are Shizu-chan~" Izaya put on a smile and walked into the small apartment once the door had been unlocked.

"So why'd you wanna come here?" The bodyguard asked, putting out a cigarette.

"Thought we could spend some time together, you know, have a drink, chat, watch a movie or something."

"Hmm." Shizuo walked into the kitchen and started looking around in the fridge.

"Are you going to make me something too?" The informant asked, watching the other.

"..What do you want?" Shizuo sighed, something about this made him regret letting the raven inside.

A few hours later, Shizuo found himself sitting on the couch, counting how many glasses and beer cans were on the floor and end table. Five? Seven? And how many had been Izaya's? Just three, he noticed. Meanwhile Izaya had been ranting about work. _'He sure is talkitive when he's a little drunk.. but then again when does he ever stop talking?_'

"Hey!" Izaya had decided to raise his voice, startling the blonde, "I have a question.." The way he said it made it sound more like a warning.

"What?" Shizuo had noticed a light pink tint painted on Izaya's cheeks.

"Why.. Why don't you love me?" The informant moved closer to Shizuo, eyes never once leaving his own.

"You shouldn't ask people questions like that Izaya.."

"But I love you-!" he raised his voice.

The sudden confession had shocked Shizuo more than it should have, sure there have been signs indicating that Izaya really liked him, but teasing is in his nature. There was no way for the ex-bartender to be sure, "Y-you do?" his eyes widened as well as Izaya's crimson ones,

"You mean you didn't know?" He backed off from the sofa, stumbling a bit as he did so, "I knew you've always been a bit slow, but I thought I've made it quiet obvious! What with the constant calling, and 'stalking' as you've called it, and all the time that we've spent together and you just thought it was for nothing? I know I love the whole human race but they're nothing but predictable beings. But you.. You're something else _Shizuo_." he ranted. His look soon turned into one of sorrow once he sat back down, "But I hate it.. I hate that I feel this way towards you. Because you're the one person whose mind I have no control over. I can't manipulate you, so I can never make you mine. Ironic isn't it? The one person I actually want to be with is the one person I can't control, it's like a form of karma for all I've done."

If Shizuo had ever been surprised at Izaya before, it was nothing compared to this. '_All this time.._' He thought, watching the informant stare at the ground, '_All this time and I thought he was just messing with me for his own gain_.'

Izaya looked over to see that Shizuo was still staring at him with a shocked expression, "Heh, who am I kidding? I wouldn't expect you to understand.. I don't really understand it myself. I mean, why you?" He clenched his fists, "Why you? Wh-!" Izaya was cut off when a pair of lips were pressed against his own. It was gentle but reassuring before it became more desperate and passionate.

'_I'm getting in way over my head here, something about this still isn't right!_' Shizuo suddenly pulled away.

"Shizuo?" Izaya slurred once the blonde had pulled away from him.

"No, not like this Izaya." He shook his head, looking away.

"Not like what?" Izaya continued to move closer to Shizuo.

"Not this.. You.. The state you're in right now. It just isn't right."

Something inside the informant tried to understand what he was saying, but he had no room to argue, "I see. Fine then." he yawned, resting his head on the shoulder next to him.

"Izaya-"

"What? Is this not right either?" the tired raven mumbled.

Shizuo smiled, "No it's alright," he placed both hands under the informant to lift him up off the couch, "but you're sleeping in the bed." he began to carry him.

"Fine by me.." Izaya yawned again.

Once placed in the bed, Shizuo turned to leave when he heard the other mumble again, "..you're sleeping in the bed too ya know." he turned to see crimson eyes staring back at him still half lidded.

"I didn't hear a please in there." Shizuo smirked, moving towards the bed.

"You don't need one."

"Fair enough," He joined Izaya and immediately felt him curl up on his chest, "'Night."

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><p>AN (again): I'm sorry for the crappy ending to this chapter! T_T I really wasn't sure how to finish it XD

Review and Favorite if you want. But try to be polite with reviews please.. ^^


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